WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The race for the White House will most likely be “wide open” after Hillary Clinton serves her two terms as President, experts agree.
“What happens in 2024 is anyone’s guess—and if anyone tells you differently, they’re lying,” says political science professor Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota. “The only thing we can say with any certainty is that Hillary Clinton will be elected President by a landslide in 2016 and reëlected by an even bigger margin in 2020.”
As for the future of the Democratic Party after Hillary’s two terms are over, Mr. Logsdon offers this prediction: “I can tell you right now that Hillary’s Presidency will be so successful that she will usher in a Democratic dynasty of sorts. I’m not a betting man, but if I had to guess, I’d say that after eight years of Hillary there will be eight years of Michelle, then eight years each for Chelsea, Sasha, and Malia.”